Relax, doomsday won’t be on 9/23/17!

Hi everybody. It’s been a while. I’m still alive and will probably be alive a little longer. The world is not ending this weekend as some predicted. A Christian numerologist named David Meade claimed planet X (Nibiru) was going to slam into us on 9/23. It would seem he has backtracked his story. (source) He now claims it just marks the beginning of a series of catastrophic events that will occur.

“Meade said his prediction is based on verses and numerical codes found in the Bible, specifically in the apocalyptic Book of Revelation. He said recent events, such as the solar eclipse and Hurricanes Irma and Harvey, are omens of the approaching apocalypse.”


Can’t you see the code!!!??

Numerical codes you say? Let me guess, he just happens to be the only person who understands these “numerical codes” too. Don’t you hate when you’re the only person who “gets it.” Codes are everywhere! It’s remarkable. In fact, I discovered the true end of date for the end of the world this morning! As I write this, it’s the 22nd day of the 9th month. 22 + 9 = 31. 31 is the amount of days that a majority of our months have. When you subtract 31 from the 7 months that have 31 days you get 31- 7 = 24. We have 24 hours in a day! 24 was the name of a popular show on Fox that starred Kiefer Sutherland. Another cast member on 24 was Mary Lynn Rajskub. Lynn just happens to be the name of a nearby city. The city of Lynn contains six zip codes 01901, 01902, 01903 01904, 01905, & 01910. When you add all those up you get 11435. Don’t you see it!! It’s so simple. The end of the world will be 1/14/2035. I’m so fucking smart!

This guy probably back tracked when he came to the realization that a big fucking planet would probably be very obvious in the night sky at this point. Anyway, everyone can relax for now. Hopefully the conspiracy nuts hash out something new soon. I’m sick of the same old stuff being recycled. 



Categories: I can't believe its in the News!

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