Review: The Predator

The moment the trailer for The Predator dropped, I sensed trouble. The look of it seemed like something made for the Syfy channel. I wanted to be wrong. As a result, I put off reviewing this film for quite a while. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to see it. The end result is a disappointing film that tries to throw a bunch of shit at the wall hoping something will stick. (Major Spoilers ahead)

The story centers around an Army ranger named Quinn McKenna. McKenna and his team are  on a mission in a Mexico forest. Suddenly, a Predator ship crashes nearby. They investigate. Upon doing so, he recovers some Predator gear from the crash. His team gets wiped out by the Predator who crashed on the ship. McKenna uses some of the gear to incapacitate the Predator. He then flees like hell from the scene. While on the run, he mails the technology he recovered (mask, gauntlet) to the home of his ex-wife and son. The U.S. government eventually catches McKenna. They also managed to grab the Predator that he incapacitated in the forest, & brought him/it back to a lab for study. McKenna is evaluated before being tossed on a bus with five other government prisoners. At this point, I’m fine with this story. It’s nothing special, but it’s ok.

Things won’t get better though. The scientists learn that this Predator has human DNA. It turns out, they aren’t just sport hunters. These creatures also collect DNA to upgrade themselves to become better killers. Yup, the movie is taking the hybridization route!  I’m really not a big fan of hybridization as a plot element in films. It can work. You always have exceptions to the rule. Although, more often than not, it comes off really cheesy. Didn’t the makers of this film learn anything from that awful Pred-alien in Alien Vs. Predator Requiem? No more type of fucking hybrids please!

While the traditional looking Predator is in the lab, & merely contains some human DNA, the new “Ultimate Predator” hybrid is on its way to the location. Apparently, some of the other Predator factions were against the creation of this new Predator that presumably contains the DNA of everything badass in the universe. As a result, the traditional looking Predator was attempting to deliver a weapon to humanity so we could fight the new enhanced hybrid. When the new Predator arrives he/it kills the old one pretty quickly.

We haven’t hit rock bottom yet. They found a way to incorporate climate control into the movie too. Since we’re fucking up the planet & global warming is getting worse, Predators are hunting more and more to collect as much human DNA as possible before we go extinct. Furthermore, since warmer temperatures would make our world ideal for them, they eventually plan to invade. Everyone got all that?

Why did they try to cram all this shit into the movie!? It’s essentially a film about alien colonization thru hybridization, wrapped in a PSA about climate control! WTF!!?

predatorstill

Wow, you’re cut! Where you workout bro?

I understand wanting to further develop the basic premise and add to the mythology, but this doesn’t work. It bit off more than it could chew. I would have been fine with a back to basics reboot. Just make a fun action/science fiction movie. After all, the first film was in 1987. If that worked, start incorporating SOME of these elements into its sequel.

Lately, some great action scenes in this movie are ruined by bad CGI. Hell, the film Predators (2010) might actually look better.

The Predator is not a good movie. It starts ok, but gradually gets worse as they introduce too many elements into the fold. That’s too bad. With this movie failing to meet box office expectations, & Disney about acquire FOX, it might be a long time before we see this franchise again.

Score: 4/10

Pros

+ didn’t mind some of the humor

+ some decent action

+ Predator dogs aren’t so bad.

Cons

-Lame hybridized Ultimate Predator

-Horrible CGI

– We never get to see the cool technology that the Predators brought humanity to fight the Super Predators until the end of the movie. Also, we don’t see it in combat! It’s a horrible tease for a sequel that probably won’t happen.

 

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Categories: Anything involving Hollywood & TV

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