A while back I wrote about an idiot who tossed himself out of a second story window after declaring he was spider-man. That moron lived. This man wasn’t so fortunate.
They say life imitates art. That doesn’t always go so well. In the comics, Superman has come back from the dead. In our world, coming back from the dead is possible, but the percentage chance of revival falls sharply with each passing moment the person remains flat-lined. That being said, when you decide to do what this Einstein did and jump from the 10th floor balcony of a high rise building, that percentage chance of revival pretty much plummets with you!
A worker across the street claimed he witnessed the man yelling from the balcony shortly before the jump. I wonder what he was yelling about. Was he trying to yell at General Zod? I want to know if the man really thought he was going to fly! If he did, what a fool because I didn’t see any mention of him wearing a cape! Granted, not like the cape would have defied physics. You will still be very dead, but at least look the damn part!
According to a resident of the building, “He wasn’t intoxicated or anything, and he seemed like he was in his right mind.” (source) Well, a person can “seem like” a lot of things. Hell, when I’m driving and I approach a cyclist that feels entitled to a huge portion of the road, I “seem like” I’m okay. Internally, it’s an entirely different ballgame though!
follow @whirlwindreport on Twitter
Categories: I can't believe its in the News!
Leave a Reply