Psychologist believes masturbation in the work place might be a good idea.

Lets be mature adults for a moment.  Masturbation is a healthy activity that we all partake in from time to time. While most of us might stroke the salami or flick the bean in the shower or bed, some think taking a masturbation break at work would be a great idea.

Psychologist and life coach Dr Cliff Arnall  told Metro UK that he believes “a masturbation policy would result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling.”  Also, a survey from last year revealed that “40% of workers in New York masturbate while on the job”. (source)

This is just all kinds of wrong. Let’s pretend this actually became an acceptable policy in the workplace. I can only speak for myself, but I’m not focused after “relieving” myself. I’m relaxed. I wouldn’t want to jump back into work! I’d rather take a nap. So productivity and focus are out the fucking window for me. I’m never going to a restaurant again. That I  guarantee! The thought of a cook preparing my meal moments after returning from a masturbation break doesn’t sit well with me. I also don’t want to suspect what my boss is doing after storming out of a meeting pissed off. Hell, as it stands right now, if that survey is correct & 40% of workers in New York masturbate while at the job, I’m never dining in New York. That policy is effective immediately in my book!

soup

Really makes you think differently about that soup now doesn’t it!?

The article does go on to mention some of the negative aspects of such a policy. It shouldn’t be used if you are lusting over another employee. It could also lead to other forms of sexual behavior like harassment.

Almost everything has a time and a place for it. Masturbation and the work place don’t go hand & hand.

-Adam Mallett

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