Let me put into perspective how long we have been waiting for season 6 of Game of Thrones to begin. Women have had full term pregnancies! No show should take that long. Granted, this shit takes time to pull together. It is the most expensive show on TV. Well, the wait is finally over. While the episode wasn’t a disappointment, this was very much a “play it safe” premiere and focused on a little bit of each storyline from season 5. SPOILERS AHEAD
I don’t want to get far off track. However, I will say I got annoyed with HBO. When I watch a show on a movie network, I expect almost a full hour for the premiere. You don’t have commercials! No excuses. Instead, when the clock struck 9pm est, we got a tiny preview for a show that HBO wanted to pimp out. Then, we got a “previously on Game of Thrones” which took up a nice chunk of time. Then, we all know the GOT opening credits chews up some minutes. Then, the show ended around 9:55. When all was said & done, we lost roughly 13-15 minutes. Damn you HBO! 45 minute shows are for network!!!
Moving on, I still can’t believe Sansa and Theon jumped that castle wall without someone breaking a leg. As anticipated, Brienne showed up in the nick of time to save Sansa from getting captured by Ramsay’s thugs. Poderick even got in on some of the battle action. Finally, Sansa accepts Brienne’s protection. Its about god damn time!
At the end of season 5, I was convinced the Dothraki had a motive for capturing Daenerys. So, it was a little disappointing to find out that wasn’t the case. They had no idea who the hell she was. They just happened to be passing by and saw what they liked. Luckily for her, the name Khal Drago has some street credit. Since she is the widow of a Dothraki, she no longer needs to worry about being forced into slavery. Oh, & just when I thought I might see her topless, I remembered Emilia Clarke is becoming a more serious actress in Hollywood and now has a no nudity clause in her contract. God damnt! Instead of slavery, she will now get sent to the Dothraki equivalent of a retirement home to live out her days with the other widows. That sucks, but its certainly an upgrade over being raped on a nightly basis.
We need to do something before he starts to smell!
As of right now, Jon Snow is still very much dead. Davos and some loyalists hauled his body into a room and barricaded themselves in. Its a shame this storyline didn’t advance much past just a couple scenes. However, I am confident this is building to a very kickass hostile conflict.
The situation in Dorne is getting interesting. I’m curious to see what Ellaria and the Sand Snakes (sounds like a name for a chick band) have planned. While I’m on board for this plotline, I felt the scene where Doran Martell was killed in his wheelchair was a bit misplaced and should have been held off for a later episode.
Simply put, Arya Stark fucked up. One minute your going to a creepy school and learning to change faces at the House of Black and White, then you fuck it all up by stealing a face and killing someone out of revenge. I don’t blame her, but damn! If I had known this would be the consequences, that would be enough to keep me in line. Although, it looks like she will get another shot.
It turns out Melisandre is not a hot piece of witch ass. I think most of us figured she was a lot older anyway. However, did anybody think she would turn out to be the old lady in the bathtub from The Shining? No wonder she flashes her rack at every opportunity. Wouldn’t you if you were really ridiculously old yet could still transform yourself to look younger? At the end of this episode we see her true form as she gets ready for bed. Common now. Did we really need to see the full figure? Sadly, I know most of us will end up looking something like this, but I don’t need to see it. Its very depressing.
Score 7.5/10
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Categories: Anything involving Hollywood & TV
Whirlwind Reports 
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