My Middle Finger At Humanity – 7 Things People Do That I Find Irritating

As I get older and years of alcohol abuse take hold of me, I can’t help but be less tolerant of the things people do that annoy the piss out of me. Things a person could do that only slightly annoyed me when I was in my early to late twenties now make me want to push a person’s head through a bandsaw. Pretty dark right?  Anyway, I call this list “Adam’s middle finger list towards humanity” These types of people and or acts could possibly send me to the funny farm someday.

Parents Who Think Their Baby Is Super Smart When Realistically They Are Like Every Other Baby

I understand that parents have high hopes for their children and want to believe that their kid is so much smarter than all the others. No new parent goes into it thinking “wow my baby is going to be so stupid” The reality is, your child is probably just like all the others.

I’ve heard these conversations several times.  They go something like this “(insert baby name) is so alert and observant. She is always looking around at things.” Ok, ISN’T THAT WHAT BABIES AND INFANTS DO!? THAT’S PRETTY MUCH ALL THEY CAN DO! Aside from, sleeping, pooping, peeing, crying & burping. All they do is just look at stuff. If a parent thinks that warrants thinking your kid is “super smart” then I wonder what they think “normal” is. Hell, if your baby is gazing and staring at objects a little to long it could be the exact opposite of smart!

Women who are a 5 at best but act like they are a hot 10. 

Why!? Why!? Why!? Some say attitude is everything, but you still need a little something to work with. A women who is a 5 AT BEST has nothing to work with. I can’t emphasize “at best” enough. This means they are typically a 4 day to day but in shitty club lighting and with cleavage hanging out they gain 1 point. It’s all lies!  If they were a six or seven at best then I might be able to give them a bit of a pass if they have some “my shit don’t stink” attitude but a 5? No way! It’s to much of a stretch. Stop being delusional about your appearance princess!

The Asshole Who Can’t Stop Talking About How They Travel All The Time!

Wow, look at you! Do you travel? Oh, you do travel? Good for you. I didn’t know that because I’ve only heard you mention it about 100 god damn times! Oh really, you found this cute cafe in Suffolk just outside of London? That’s wonderful…..  Fuck off! I don’t care. Travel is great and fun. We should all do it. However, unless someone asks you about it, you just sound like a jackass who is trying to impress people by bringing it up on your own constantly.

The asshole who feels the need to eat ridiculously hot/spicy foods in front of friends so they can act like it’s no big deal.

Remember when you were younger and there was at least one

person who would eat a hot pepper on a dare and act like its no big deal? People like this still exist. Your gonna eat a ghost pepper? The hottest Pepper known to man? Wow, your super cool! Why the f*@K would you do that? Nobody cares man. They only thing you are going to get out of it is a ton of pain in your ass when everything exit’s the other end.

The slutty girl who thinks she is popular because she sleeps with every guy possible but really isn’t because everyone just thinks she is a whore.

God this is annoying. Nobody respects you. Nobody cares. You obviously have daddy issues. Guy’s don’t like you. They just keep you around because you provide them with “special treats” and a lot of guys will stick there dick in anything. I guess this is sad more than anything due to how oblivious they are to whats really going on, but they should be smart enough to figure it out.

Die Hard i-phone People

It’s one thing if you just like your iphone. Maybe you’ve had one since the beginning and your use to it. That’s fine. It’s a great product! I’m talking about the extreme iphone people who roll there eyes the minute they see a Galaxy and follow that up with a pro iphone rant. Why are these people so brainwashed into thinking there phone is so superior when they obviously haven’t read the tech specs for both phones? If they did, they would see that both phones are pretty damn close to the same thing. One does better than the other in some categories and vice versa.

I think people are so stuck on it because the original iphone was a huge break through! There was nothing like it. Nowadays, that isn’t the case. Everything is pretty damn close to the same thing but they assume it’s still the most super powerful awesome force that it was. No matter which route you go, you are getting a great product. WHO CARES!!

Obese People

Let’s get something straight. Disclaimer: I’m not talking about people who are overweight. I understand as we get older we have families to support, kids to look after and hectic work schedules. Some people might not have the time to get to a gym. Getting some belly fat or a spare tire around the waist is expected. That being said, I’m talking about those people who are so fat they need a rascal scooter to get around and have a handicapped plate. Why should you be able to cut me in line at an amusement park because you are lazy and gave up on life? It pisses me off. I’ve had people say “well that’s easy for you to say because your in shape” Ya & how do you think I got that way jackass? Do you think you just end-up in shape like it’s a magic spell? If these types of people procreate there children could form the same habits, weight problems and also an increased risk of diabetes.

Sorry if I am in a ranting mood. I’m sure this won’t be the first time I do this. As the days have been getting shorter and sunset is now at 4 freakin 30, it can irritate the hell out of you & set off a chain of frustrations that are bundled up. Damn, I should have made that number eight. Anyway, until next time.

Categories: Rants about Stuff!

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